


Getting to the Point

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 10:40:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Gon and Killua meet up again, they decide to pick up where they left off. Or so Killua thinks. It turns out there are some unresolved issues between them, and it all comes to a head at the worst possible moment. (Edited 8/16/13 to fix formatting issues)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting to the Point

**Author's Note:**

> Haha it's definitely not as dramatic as the summary makes it sound. It's mostly porn with feelings.
> 
> I imagine Gon and Killua to be 16-17 in this, but I don't ever mention age or time in-story, so it's really up to the reader :)
> 
> Beta'd by the incomparable eloiserummaging, who deals beautifully with my writerly anxiety with very little compensation, and will read anything I ask her to even if she doesn't know the characters at all. Love you, darling. Thanks! <3

Killua’s mind was racing. They were caught, he knew they were, and worse, their assailant knew that they knew and was taking his own sweet time, toying with them. Killua knew that the man’s ego was the only thing saving them right now. But that wouldn’t last long, and this guy was an experienced Nen user. He knew— _thought_ —that he was fast enough to escape but Gon wasn’t, not on his own.

“Killua.”

Killua Zoldyck, assassin, wouldn’t have had to think about what came next. For Killua Zoldyck, Gon’s friend…the obvious choice, the _smart_ choice, wasn’t an option. “On the count of three, I’m going to attack—“

“Killua.”

“—and while he’s distracted, you can—“

“ _Killua.”_

“—escape, and I’ll catch up. One, two—“

“ _Killua Zoldyck, calm down right now!”_ Gon punctuated his stern command with a sharp pinch to Killua’s ear, and Killua yelped, concentration utterly broken. “Why do you always try to do this?” Gon demanded.

Great, they definitely had their enemy’s attention now. Thankfully, he seemed more curious than murderous. What _was_ it about Gon that made even people trying to kill him want to know what he had to say? Not that he was any different, Killua mused ruefully.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Gon said calmly, but the stubbornness lurking in his eyes and in the set of his jaw made it perfectly clear he wouldn’t be reasoned with.

“Why don’t _you_ ever just _shut up_ and do what I tell you?” Killua exploded, potential murderer momentarily forgotten. “I mean it this time, Gon!”

“Because the things you tell me to do are stupid! _Especially_ when you mean it! I don’t want you to put yourself in danger for me unless I say so!”

Ignoring the last part of that because _what the actual hell_ , Killua yelled back, “You put yourself in danger for me all the time! Especially when I don’t want you to! You _actively seek out danger all the time_ , _Gon_!”

“That’s different,” Gon said, with no awareness whatsoever of the fact that he was a _giant hypocrite_. It wasn’t like Killua _wanted_ to get hurt or possibly killed— _he_ wasn’t an adrenaline junkie—but he was better now, dammit, and this Killua would never choose his own safety over Gon’s.

“Exactly _how_ is it different? Because here are the facts: This guy is really really strong. This guy is really really strong _with nen_. This guy wants to _kill us_. I _might_ be a little faster, so if I can distract him for a _second_ it would give you time to escape.”

“No.”

“If we don’t do something we’ll both _die_!”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I am _going_ to do something and _neither_ of us is going to die! Okay? This is why we should discuss the situation before you go try to sacrifice yourself, _like always_. Killua is so selfish.” He actually had the _nerve_ to look annoyed, and suddenly Killua wasn’t worried about their enemy anymore; he was going to kill Gon _himself_.

“ _I’m_ selfish? _Me_? You throw yourself at every wall you find, just to see if you can dent it and you don’t even _care_ if you get hurt! You don’t care if you die! You don’t care about anything but being stupid and strong! You don’t care at all how _I’d_ feel if something happened to _you_!” Killua was so _angry_. His breathing was ragged from it, but he couldn’t spare the concentration to regulate it.

Gon blinked. “Ah, I see now,” he said with a strange, soft smile, completely derailing Killua from his escalating ire. Gon began to stretch while the would-be killer made some sort of amused, superior sound in the background.

“What? See what?” Killua said blankly.

“You’re in love with me,” Gon said, so casually it took Killua a few seconds to process. _What?_

“I am not.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m _not_!” His face was burning. He was _blushing_ and he hadn’t even said it! How did Gon just come out and _say_ these embarrassing things without bursting into flames?

The guy with the evil looking _nen_ knives and the would-have-been-completely-hilarious-if-he-wasn’t-trying-to-kill-them blue skin said, “Yeah, you really are. I’ve only been trying to kill you for ten minutes and even _I_ can tell.”

“Stay out of this, I’ll deal with you in a minute,” Gon said testily, glaring over Killua’s shoulder. And while blue-assasin-guy spluttered in the background, Gon turned to Killua (who must have been suffering from shell-shock or something because his mind was totally blank) and said very gently, “Are so. We’ll discuss this later.” Gon patted his shoulder and turned his attention back to their opponent.

“He’s stronger than you,” Killua said weakly, still reeling, because it was the only thing he could think to say.

“I wonder why you keep saying that?” Gon murmured thoughtfully. “Stay there.”

Killua did. It wasn’t an easy fight by any means, but it was hardly the worst they’d had. Gon won, of course he did. He had a deep slash across his collarbone, a sprained wrist, and blood that didn’t belong to him splattered across his face.  His _nen_ fairly sang around him, and the battle lust had yet to fade from his wide brown eyes. He’d never looked more beautiful or more deadly and Killua was very very wrong.

_Are so. Are so. Are so. Are so._

Gon’s unstable aura brushed Killua’s and they both shivered. Killua swallowed and thought, _am so._

Once they were back at the hotel, Gon didn’t immediately confront him, opting for a shower instead. Killua was grateful. He couldn’t seem to get his heartbeat under control since the fight, and every time he looked at Gon every bit of progress was immediately undone.

He thought about getting his own room, and was even halfway to getting up and doing it when Gon came out of the bathroom, fully dressed (thank god) and still toweling his hair dry.

“Anything good on?” he asked, rummaging in his backpack.

Killua stared, then realized he was holding the remote in his hand and the TV was on.

“Oh, uh, no, not really.” Killua offered the remote, which Gon took and flopped down on the bed too. Killua tensed, but Gon didn’t seem to be paying attention. He found some sort of martial arts tournament on a sports channel and they sat in silence, watching.

The thing was, Killua should have been relieved. He should have been glad that Gon wasn’t pushing him, wasn’t being nosy and earnest and, well, _Gon_ at him. But he was getting tenser and tenser as the seconds ticked by and they continued to just sit there like nothing at all had happened.

In fact, Killua had worked himself up so much that he didn’t even register when Gon rolled onto his side.

“I can feel you thinking stupid thoughts,” he said, startling Killua so deeply he jumped.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Too quick, dammit. Killua winced inwardly. Gon’s eyes on him were sharp and serious and there was no way he’d missed that. _Breathe, Zoldyck._

“I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve, you know. I didn’t know it at the time, of course. I just knew I wanted us to always be together. Adventuring, looking for my dad, saving a country from giant bugs; it could only be Killua doing those things with me,” he said, never even attempting to avert his eyes and _how did he do that?_ Killua was so embarrassed he couldn’t even look in Gon’s _direction_.

“You left,” Killua said, knowing it was a low blow and untruthful besides. They’d both left.

“You hated me.”

“I did not!” Killua protested vehemently. There was no way he could ever hate Gon. Ever.

“Really mad, then.” Gon conceded.  “You needed your space. And to spend time with Alluka. And I needed to spend time with my dad.” Gon laughed. “You would have _hated_ Ging.”

Killua didn’t know what to say. Since they’d met again they’d never bothered to discuss what had happened during their time apart. It hadn’t seemed necessary, they’d simply…picked up where they left off three years ago. Or so Killua had thought.

_“Leorio says there’s something interesting happening on the Vendrasino continent. Wanna check it out?”_

_“Sure.”_

“I’m really strong now, Killua. Stronger than almost everyone we’ve met until now, maybe even Hisoka. I don’t need you to be my protector anymore.  I want you to be my lover,” he said in that intent way that had always caused Killua to sit up and take notice, from the very beginning. And how weird was it to hear something like “lover” come out of Gon’s mouth anyway? What did _Gon_ know about lovers?

Killua looked away, swallowing, unable or unwilling to sort through the tangle of confusion and jealousy inside his head. “I like girls,” he protested weakly.

Gon smiled, sunny and knowing, “No, you don’t. You never look twice at girls. You never look twice at anyone.”

But that wasn’t true either, and Gon was being kind by not saying it bluntly, “ _You never look twice at anyone except me, who you can’t seem to_ stop _looking at.”_

“Do you want to have sex with me, Killua?”

Killua choked and flailed, rolling right off the bed, and was across the room in an instant, as far away from Gon as it was possible to get. “Don’t just say stuff like that, idiot!” he screeched. Gon was trying to give him a _heart attack_.

Gon was giggling, rolling around on the bed and Killua was seriously going to kill him. His face felt like he had a _fever_ , it was so hot, and God damn his pale complexion anyway.

“Your—face!” Gon gasped between guffaws. He wound down a few moments later, and wiped his eyes.  “So…do you?” he asked again, honest curiosity lurking beneath the amusement.

“ _No!”_ Killua was going to leave and get his own room. Any minute. Except to get to the door he had to walk past Gon, and honestly he didn’t know whether Gon would let him leave, and if not whether Killua was faster than him anymore. Maybe he could scale the building. How high up were they anyway?

“I’m not letting you climb out the window,” Gon said mildly. “You liar. You want to do _this_ and _that_ with me.”

“No I don’t!” At least, he didn’t think he did. He was still getting used to the idea that he maybe, _possibly_ liked Gon as something other than just a really really, _really_ close friend.

“Well, I want to do it with you.” Gon rolled onto his back again, finally looking away, though he suspected that was more for Killua’s sake than because of any embarrassment Gon might feel. Gon was completely shameless. “Sometimes I get distracted in the middle of a fight because you look like you’d taste better than chocolate and I want to find out. Fighting when I’m hard is a pain.”

Killua wanted to say something witty, like that that was impossible because nothing tasted better than chocolate, but he was completely arrested by the rest of Gon’s little speech. He knew he had to be gaping like a fish out of water—which, truth be told, was pretty much exactly what he felt like. He had no idea Gon had thoughts like that, and though the words embarrassed Killua, the hunger in them was making him feel warm in another way.

“If you want to continue to pretend we’re only friends and don’t want to fuck each other senseless, I’m fine with that,” Gon continued. “But before you decide, I’d like to try something.”

Killua, still reeling from the crude language (cruder than he was used to from his still-very-rural-minded friend), had no defense for what came next. Gon stood before Killua (how did Killua never remember how fast he’d gotten?) and before he could demand whether his friend kissed Mito-san with that mouth, Gon was framing his face with his hands and kissing _Killua_ with that mouth.

 _Soft_ , was Killua’s first thought, Gon’s lips slightly chapped but still soft against his own; _wet_ , was his second thought, when Gon nipped at his bottom lip just the slightest bit and Killua opened up for him unthinkingly; _yes_ , his third thought when Gon’s tongue was inside his mouth, and Killua finally, finally closed his eyes and responded. Then he stopped thinking at all. Stopped worrying, stopped feeling like his head was going to explode, just _stopped_ , and closed his eyes and let himself enjoy what Gon was doing. What he was doing with Gon.

_This, yes. I don’t know about the other stuff he was talking about, but this I definitely want._

With one last lick, Gon pulled away—though he couldn’t go far because sometime during their activity Killua had tangled his hands in Gon’s tank top.

Killua opened his eyes lazily. “Where did you learn to do _that_?”

“Do you really want to know?” Gon said, eyebrows raised skeptically, looking like a cat that got the cream, but was thinking about going after the canary anyway..

“No,” Killua said quickly, and pushed his lips against Gon’s again.

They kissed for a long time, until Killua felt boneless and heavy with it. And when he needed to breathe, it was in gasps while Gon’s mouth, _God his mouth_ , kissed his cheeks, his chin, his throat, and his hands, _God his hands,_ roamed everywhere he could reach.  Finally, once they were both wobbly and breathing hard, he stopped and they just breathed together.

“I missed you. I’m glad I met my dad, but the whole time I kept thinking I’d trade having him for having you in a second. Please say yes.”

“‘Yes’ what?” Killua asked, still dazed.

“’Yes, Gon, you can have me.’” Gon whispered right into his ear.

Killua shivered. “What does that even _mean_?” he moaned back helplessly, burying his hot face in Gon’s shoulder.

Gon repeated his question from earlier, “Do you really want to know?”

Killua hesitated, then nodded, keeping his face firmly buried.

Gon laughed softly. “Okay.” He slid his knee between Killua’s thighs and leaned harder against him, simultaneously supporting them both and putting pressure on Killua’s aching cock. Killua squeezed his eyes shut and curled further into Gon.

“Killua is very honest,” Gon said cheekily. “If only he would look at me.” Killua felt Gon’s hands move, felt them glide down, grasp him through his pants and Killua gasped and threw his head back.

“That’s better.” Gon took Killua’s hands in his and rested their foreheads together. Killua’s entire world was reduced to Gon around him and against him. But that wasn’t really anything new; Gon had been Killua’s world since they were twelve.

“I want to kiss you everywhere,” Gon breathed.

“You said that already,” Killua breathed back. Gon’s breath smelled like toothpaste.

“I want to see if your nipples are sensitive. I want to hear what noises you make when I touch the inside of your elbow, the back of your knee, and the very top of your thighs.”

Killua’s breath shuddered out of him. He was embarrassed and he wanted to run away because this was _Gon_ …

And because this was Gon, he was harder than he’d ever been in his life.

Gon pressed Killua’s unresisting hands against the wall beside his head and held them there lightly. He licked Killua’s ear and blew on it, and he was resolutely not thinking about how Gon had learned to seduce so skillfully. Killua felt like he was _melting_.

“When you’re so frustrated you can’t take it anymore, I’ll put your cock in my mouth. But you can’t come yet so it’ll only be for a minute. Then I’ll turn you over on your front and start all over again. I’ll hold you down with my whole body so you can feel how much I want you.” Gon punctuated that last with a slow roll of his hips, then another. And Gon wasn’t _stopping_ , building the pressure with husky words and slow, languid movement.

Killua couldn’t think. It was like all of his higher brain functions had ceased. He couldn’t even spare the focus to be embarrassed, the heat in his face and neck was due almost entirely to arousal, now. “Gon,” he moaned. “I can’t…”

“I want to touch you. Can I please touch you, Killua?”

“ _Yes_ , goddamnit, yes, _please, Gon_!”

And there was the embarrassment. Killua yanked his hands out of Gon’s and covered his face.

“You make me crazy,” he said, muffled.

“Then I guess we’re even,” Gon said. And without any warning at all, almost before he knew what was happening he was bouncing on the bed and Gon was covering him, stealing his breath with a searing kiss. It was wet and hot and deep and completely different from the kisses before. It was _intent_.

Gon sat up on his knees and stripped off his shirt. Killua reached up hesitantly and laid his hand over Gon’s heart. Killua had seen the scar before, of course he had, but never this close. The choking, frozen feeling was familiar though, as the knowledge that this scar meant Gon had almost died rippled through him.

Gon frowned. He took Killua’s hand and put it down on the bed. “I confessed first, so I get to touch you first.”

Killua laughed. That logic was so typically _Gon_ that it made all this seem less weird. “So selfish,” he said fondly.

Gon grinned. “I’m glad you’re laughing. I’m glad you’re having fun. Everything we do should be fun, even this.” He leaned down and murmured, “Even when I’m so deep inside you we can’t tell where one of us ends and the other begins, I want you to be having fun.”

Killua felt those words right down to his balls and he really thought he was going to come for a moment, just from that. “Ah! D-don’t say something like that so suddenly!”

Gon giggled. “You are so cute. I can’t wait to see your face when we fuck,” he said dreamily.

Killua drew on every bit of courage he possessed in order to look Gon dead in the eye and say, “Then why don’t you stop talking about it and do it?”

And then, of course, he completely ruined it by rolling over and burying his face in the pillow, almost seizing from humiliation.

He didn’t realize he’d left himself vulnerable until he felt Gon’s hands at his hips and then a rush of air as Gon pulled his shorts and underwear down and off in one smooth motion.

“Oi! What the hell?” Killua yelped, reaching back to cover his butt.

“Don’t!” Gon said harshly, startling Killua enough that he didn’t resist when Gon moved his hands away.

The silence got to be a bit too much, especially since Killua knew Gon was staring at him. “Gon,” he said quietly.

Gon raised one of Killua’s hands to his face, and sucked his forefinger into his mouth. Killua gasped. The motion was unexpectedly erotic and he craned his neck around to get a look. “What…?”

“I want us to do _everything_ together. I want to suck your cock, I want you to suck mine, I want to make you come with nothing but us rubbing together, and I really want you to fuck me sometime. But tonight,” with his other hand Gon reached down to trace the crack of Killua’s ass, just lightly, but enough to make him tremble, “right now, I really want this. Can I, Killua?”

Killua was a little scared, but this was Gon. This was his best friend, and the person he loved most in the entire world.

“Yes,” Killua said simply. Right now, he could not think of a single thing he wanted more than to be one with Gon.

Gon leaned down and kissed him, lightly, almost chaste. Then he put Killua’s finger back in his mouth and sucked in earnest. Killua moaned, and buried his face back in the pillow.

“Together, Killua. You’re going to help me make you feel _very_ good.”

Suddenly, Gon pulled Killua onto his knees and snaked their hands underneath, past his leaking erection to his ass and said, “Push your finger in.”

“Gon!” Killua practically yelled, yanking his hand away. “No!”

Gon said in that intense voice again. “I want you to. I want to see. I’ll help, but I want to _see_.”

Killua shuddered and made a noise that sounded like a whine. Haltingly, supporting himself on his other forearm, he reached underneath himself and when he got to his goal he slowly slid that finger inside himself.

He grunted; it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. The sensation wasn’t painful, but it was uncomfortable and strange.

“I can’t—” he started, but couldn’t finish the sentence.

“You can,” Gon crooned and gently urged Killua’s own finger deeper inside him, while Killua cried out.

It was hot inside, and the spit only eased the way a little. He could feel himself contracting, and it was _so tight_. How did Gon expect to get his dick in there?

“I wanted you to feel.” Gon said, voice finally showing some strain, for which Killua was grateful. He didn’t like to think he was the only one affected. “How good I’m going to feel when I get in you.”

Killua almost wanted to laugh. _So selfish!_

It was another moment or two before Killua felt Gon’s hand on his, fingers entwining with the ones outside and so very slowly slipping one of his fingers in beside Killua’s. It was an odd feeling, both of them inside him together. It felt both too close and not close enough at the same time. It was also the hottest thing Killua had ever experienced or imagined experiencing in his whole life.

When Gon put another finger in, the arm Killua was using to hold himself up buckled and he face-planted into the pillow, grateful for it because he couldn’t stop the noises emerging from his mouth. Guttural, animal noises that he would be embarrassed about if he could hold onto a thought. Gon was moving his fingers, stretching him and Killua just felt so _full_. Full of Gon, full of emotions, just _full_.

Then, Gon’s fingers grazed a place inside of him that made Killua choke on a breath and he _keened_ , his whole body jerking away from the too-pleasurable feeling, then pushing back to get more. “What—” he gasped. “What was—?”

“Feels good, no?” Gon said, touching it again and Killua began to tremble.

“D-don’t if you do it—ah! If you do that again I’m going t-to--”

Gon pulled his fingers free and Killua lost all the air from his lungs at the sudden emptiness.

Gon leaned down and bit Killua’s butt once, sharply, making him yelp. “I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

Killua held still for about three seconds before moving, reaching deeper with his own finger to try to find that spot, despite his warning to Gon. It was no use, so he put another in and finally found it, crying out when he pushed too hard and the feeling brushed the edge of pain.

“Killua…” he heard Gon whisper. Then he was tugging at Killua’s hand and Killua just _couldn’t_ , he needed _something_ and he didn’t _know_.

“Gon, I need—” he begged.

And then he didn’t anymore because there was slick, slicker than spit, and pressure and _Gods_ Gon was _in him_ and it hurt, but it was perfect too and he wouldn’t have wanted it to stop for all the chocolate in the whole world.

And then Gon bottomed out, _so deep_ , and Killua shook, and Gon’s arms came around him, pulling him up and back, sprawled over Gon’s powerful thighs and somehow he was even _deeper_ now and Killua had never felt anything like this before, not ever and he was fiercely glad for that. Glad that Gon was the only one who could make him like this.

Gon was still, their harsh breathing the only sound in a room that had become stifling from the heat they’d created. Then Gon slid his hands up and Killua was so sensitive now that it made him jerk and they both moaned at the motion. Gon’s fingers found his nipples and began plucking at them at the same time as his hips began a slow, steady rhythm. Killua flailed, there was nowhere for him to grab onto, and he needed _something_ or he was going to fly apart. He finally grabbed onto Gon’s forearms and held on for dear life.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Gon gasped in his ear. “Only you. Only my Killua.”

The slow thrusting was good but not good _enough_ , and Killua whined with frustration. Gon stilled, then he tipped them forward, placing Killua’s hands on the headboard. “Hold on,” he grunted. Then he spread Killua’s legs even wider so he had no leverage at all, and gave one short, sharp, _perfect_ jab of his hips and Killua was _gone_.  That was _it_ , that was the _perfect angle_. After that he couldn’t stop it. His cries, his sobs, his moans, were constant, because the pleasure itself was constant it just kept building on top of itself.

“Killua, can you…?” Gon said and Killua didn’t know what he was talking about, but he would do _anything_ , if he could.

“Wha—?”

“Can you touch yourself?”

Killua laughed breathlessly. “No, I. My arms. If I let go, I’ll—”

Gon grunted. “That’s okay.” Then in a breathless, joyful voice said, “When we’re done I’m going to push you down and lick myself out of you.”

Killua would never know if it was the words or Gon managing to reach around and take hold of him that finally did it, but either way his orgasm was cataclysmic. He might have wailed, he might have made no noise at all, he had no idea because the whole world was ecstasy and he let himself fall into it with no reservation, safe in the certainty that Gon would be there to catch him. Distantly, he felt Gon’s fingers dig into his hips, and a weird hot sensation deep inside, Gon’s long moan echoing in his ears before he passed out.

Killua came to an indefinite number of minutes later, whole body aching pleasurably. Then he whined, because true to Gon’s words he was between his legs, tongue buried as far as it would go. Exhausted as he was, Killua only managed to flail weakly.

“S’dirty,” he slurred, reaching back to try to push Gon’s head away. That and he was _really_ sensitive down there. Gon’s ministrations felt good, but in a nearly unbearable way.

“It’s me and you, so it’s not dirty,” Gon said simply and cheerfully, and went back to work.

Killua shuddered as Gon’s tongue brushed over a particularly sensitive spot and it almost felt like he was coming again, though it was a much softer sensation than his previous experience.

Gon was apparently satisfied with his “clean-up” mission and scooted up to lie face to face with Killua.

They just stared at each other for a while, but surprisingly Killua didn’t feel uncomfortable—maybe a little shy. It was impossible not to feel shy with Gon looking at him so candidly.

“What?” he asked, flushing a little. He was too tired to blush properly.

“I was thinking that I want you to do me in the morning,” Gon said shamelessly.                

Killua kicked him and Gon tumbled from the bed. When his head popped up he was scowling thunderously. “Hey!”

“Don’t start talking about next time when I won’t be walking properly for days!” Killua yelled.

“You don’t have to walk! You can lie down and I’ll ride you!” Gon yelled back.

Killua threw his pillow at him. “How do you say stuff like that and not die?”

Fast as lightning, Gon darted into Killua’s personal space and stole a kiss, sucking all the air out of Killua’s already overtaxed lungs and leaving him heaving for air. “Because Killua is adorable when he’s embarrassed.”

“Don’t kiss me after where your mouth has been,” Killua said weakly.

Gon kissed him again, seemingly out of spite. Then he pulled Killua close and cuddled him like he was the very best teddy bear.

“I love you, Killua. I really love you. More than everything else in the entire world combined.”

Killua didn’t say anything until he felt Gon relax in sleep.

“I love you too, you giant idiot,” he whispered, too soft for even himself to hear.

He felt Gon grin against his neck. “I know.”

“I’m really strong now, Killua. Stronger than almost everyone we’ve met until now, maybe even Hisoka. I don’t need you to be my protector anymore.  I want you to be my lover,” he said in that intent way that had always caused Killua to sit up and take notice, from the very beginning. And how weird was it to hear something like “lover” come out of Gon’s mouth anyway? What did _Gon_ know about lovers?

Killua looked away, swallowing, unable or unwilling to sort through the tangle of confusion and jealousy inside his head. “I like girls,” he protested weakly.

Gon smiled, sunny and knowing, “No, you don’t. You never look twice at girls. You never look twice at anyone.”

But that wasn’t true either, and Gon was being kind by not saying it bluntly, “ _You never look twice at anyone except me, who you can’t seem to_ stop _looking at.”_

“Do you want to have sex with me, Killua?”

Killua choked and flailed, rolling right off the bed, and was across the room in an instant, as far away from Gon as it was possible to get. “Don’t just say stuff like that, idiot!” he screeched. Gon was trying to give him a _heart attack_.

Gon was giggling, rolling around on the bed and Killua was seriously going to kill him. His face felt like he had a _fever_ , it was so hot, and God damn his pale complexion anyway.

“Your—face!” Gon gasped between guffaws. He wound down a few moments later, and wiped his eyes.  “So…do you?” he asked again, honest curiosity lurking beneath the amusement.

“ _No!”_ Killua was going to leave and get his own room. Any minute. Except to get to the door he had to walk past Gon, and honestly he didn’t know whether Gon would let him leave, and if not whether Killua was faster than him anymore. Maybe he could scale the building. How high up were they anyway?

“I’m not letting you climb out the window,” Gon said mildly. “You liar. You want to do _this_ and _that_ with me.”

“No I don’t!” At least, he didn’t think he did. He was still getting used to the idea that he maybe, _possibly_ liked Gon as something other than just a really really, _really_ close friend.

“Well, I want to do it with you.” Gon rolled onto his back again, finally looking away, though he suspected that was more for Killua’s sake than because of any embarrassment Gon might feel. Gon was completely shameless. “Sometimes I get distracted in the middle of a fight because you look like you’d taste better than chocolate and I want to find out. Fighting when I’m hard is a pain.”

Killua wanted to say something witty, like that that was impossible because nothing tasted better than chocolate, but he was completely arrested by the rest of Gon’s little speech. He knew he had to be gaping like a fish out of water—which, truth be told, was pretty much exactly what he felt like. He had no idea Gon had thoughts like that, and though the words embarrassed Killua, the hunger in them was making him feel warm in another way.

“If you want to continue to pretend we’re only friends and don’t want to fuck each other senseless, I’m fine with that,” Gon continued. “But before you decide, I’d like to try something.”

Killua, still reeling from the crude language (cruder than he was used to from his still-very-rural-minded friend), had no defense for what came next. Gon stood before Killua (how did Killua never remember how fast he’d gotten?) and before he could demand whether his friend kissed Mito-san with that mouth, Gon was framing his face with his hands and kissing _Killua_ with that mouth.

 _Soft_ , was Killua’s first thought, Gon’s lips slightly chapped but still soft against his own; _wet_ , was his second thought, when Gon nipped at his bottom lip just the slightest bit and Killua opened up for him unthinkingly; _yes_ , his third thought when Gon’s tongue was inside his mouth, and Killua finally, finally closed his eyes and responded. Then he stopped thinking at all. Stopped worrying, stopped feeling like his head was going to explode, just _stopped_ , and closed his eyes and let himself enjoy what Gon was doing. What he was doing with Gon.

_This, yes. I don’t know about the other stuff he was talking about, but this I definitely want._

With one last lick, Gon pulled away—though he couldn’t go far because sometime during their activity Killua had tangled his hands in Gon’s tank top.

Killua opened his eyes lazily. “Where did you learn to do _that_?”

“Do you really want to know?” Gon said, eyebrows raised skeptically, looking like a cat that got the cream, but was thinking about going after the canary anyway..

“No,” Killua said quickly, and pushed his lips against Gon’s again.

They kissed for a long time, until Killua felt boneless and heavy with it. And when he needed to breathe, it was in gasps while Gon’s mouth, _God his mouth_ , kissed his cheeks, his chin, his throat, and his hands, _God his hands,_ roamed everywhere he could reach.  Finally, once they were both wobbly and breathing hard, he stopped and they just breathed together.

“I missed you. I’m glad I met my dad, but the whole time I kept thinking I’d trade having him for having you in a second. Please say yes.”

“‘Yes’ what?” Killua asked, still dazed.

“’Yes, Gon, you can have me.’” Gon whispered right into his ear.

Killua shivered. “What does that even _mean_?” he moaned back helplessly, burying his hot face in Gon’s shoulder.

Gon repeated his question from earlier, “Do you really want to know?”

Killua hesitated, then nodded, keeping his face firmly buried.

Gon laughed softly. “Okay.” He slid his knee between Killua’s thighs and leaned harder against him, simultaneously supporting them both and putting pressure on Killua’s aching cock. Killua squeezed his eyes shut and curled further into Gon.

“Killua is very honest,” Gon said cheekily. “If only he would look at me.” Killua felt Gon’s hands move, felt them glide down, grasp him through his pants and Killua gasped and threw his head back.

“That’s better.” Gon took Killua’s hands in his and rested their foreheads together. Killua’s entire world was reduced to Gon around him and against him. But that wasn’t really anything new; Gon had been Killua’s world since they were twelve.

“I want to kiss you everywhere,” Gon breathed.

“You said that already,” Killua breathed back. Gon’s breath smelled like toothpaste.

“I want to see if your nipples are sensitive. I want to hear what noises you make when I touch the inside of your elbow, the back of your knee, and the very top of your thighs.”

Killua’s breath shuddered out of him. He was embarrassed and he wanted to run away because this was _Gon_ …

And because this was Gon, he was harder than he’d ever been in his life.

Gon pressed Killua’s unresisting hands against the wall beside his head and held them there lightly. He licked Killua’s ear and blew on it, and he was resolutely not thinking about how Gon had learned to seduce so skillfully. Killua felt like he was _melting_.

“When you’re so frustrated you can’t take it anymore, I’ll put your cock in my mouth. But you can’t come yet so it’ll only be for a minute. Then I’ll turn you over on your front and start all over again. I’ll hold you down with my whole body so you can feel how much I want you.” Gon punctuated that last with a slow roll of his hips, then another. And Gon wasn’t _stopping_ , building the pressure with husky words and slow, languid movement.

Killua couldn’t think. It was like all of his higher brain functions had ceased. He couldn’t even spare the focus to be embarrassed, the heat in his face and neck was due almost entirely to arousal, now. “Gon,” he moaned. “I can’t…”

“I want to touch you. Can I please touch you, Killua?”

“ _Yes_ , goddamnit, yes, _please, Gon_!”

And there was the embarrassment. Killua yanked his hands out of Gon’s and covered his face.

“You make me crazy,” he said, muffled.

“Then I guess we’re even,” Gon said. And without any warning at all, almost before he knew what was happening he was bouncing on the bed and Gon was covering him, stealing his breath with a searing kiss. It was wet and hot and deep and completely different from the kisses before. It was _intent_.

Gon sat up on his knees and stripped off his shirt. Killua reached up hesitantly and laid his hand over Gon’s heart. Killua had seen the scar before, of course he had, but never this close. The choking, frozen feeling was familiar though, as the knowledge that this scar meant Gon had almost died rippled through him.

Gon frowned. He took Killua’s hand and put it down on the bed. “I confessed first, so I get to touch you first.”

Killua laughed. That logic was so typically _Gon_ that it made all this seem less weird. “So selfish,” he said fondly.

Gon grinned. “I’m glad you’re laughing. I’m glad you’re having fun. Everything we do should be fun, even this.” He leaned down and murmured, “Even when I’m so deep inside you we can’t tell where one of us ends and the other begins, I want you to be having fun.”

Killua felt those words right down to his balls and he really thought he was going to come for a moment, just from that. “Ah! D-don’t say something like that so suddenly!”

Gon giggled. “You are so cute. I can’t wait to see your face when we fuck,” he said dreamily.

Killua drew on every bit of courage he possessed in order to look Gon dead in the eye and say, “Then why don’t you stop talking about it and do it?”

And then, of course, he completely ruined it by rolling over and burying his face in the pillow, almost seizing from humiliation.

He didn’t realize he’d left himself vulnerable until he felt Gon’s hands at his hips and then a rush of air as Gon pulled his shorts and underwear down and off in one smooth motion.

“Oi! What the hell?” Killua yelped, reaching back to cover his butt.

“Don’t!” Gon said harshly, startling Killua enough that he didn’t resist when Gon moved his hands away.

The silence got to be a bit too much, especially since Killua knew Gon was staring at him. “Gon,” he said quietly.

Gon raised one of Killua’s hands to his face, and sucked his forefinger into his mouth. Killua gasped. The motion was unexpectedly erotic and he craned his neck around to get a look. “What…?”

“I want us to do _everything_ together. I want to suck your cock, I want you to suck mine, I want to make you come with nothing but us rubbing together, and I really want you to fuck me sometime. But tonight,” with his other hand Gon reached down to trace the crack of Killua’s ass, just lightly, but enough to make him tremble, “right now, I really want this. Can I, Killua?”

Killua was a little scared, but this was Gon. This was his best friend, and the person he loved most in the entire world.

“Yes,” Killua said simply. Right now, he could not think of a single thing he wanted more than to be one with Gon.

Gon leaned down and kissed him, lightly, almost chaste. Then he put Killua’s finger back in his mouth and sucked in earnest. Killua moaned, and buried his face back in the pillow.

“Together, Killua. You’re going to help me make you feel _very_ good.”

Suddenly, Gon pulled Killua onto his knees and snaked their hands underneath, past his leaking erection to his ass and said, “Push your finger in.”

“Gon!” Killua practically yelled, yanking his hand away. “No!”

Gon said in that intense voice again. “I want you to. I want to see. I’ll help, but I want to _see_.”

Killua shuddered and made a noise that sounded like a whine. Haltingly, supporting himself on his other forearm, he reached underneath himself and when he got to his goal he slowly slid that finger inside himself.

He grunted; it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. The sensation wasn’t painful, but it was uncomfortable and strange.

“I can’t—” he started, but couldn’t finish the sentence.

“You can,” Gon crooned and gently urged Killua’s own finger deeper inside him, while Killua cried out.

It was hot inside, and the spit only eased the way a little. He could feel himself contracting, and it was _so tight_. How did Gon expect to get his dick in there?

“I wanted you to feel.” Gon said, voice finally showing some strain, for which Killua was grateful. He didn’t like to think he was the only one affected. “How good I’m going to feel when I get in you.”

Killua almost wanted to laugh. _So selfish!_

It was another moment or two before Killua felt Gon’s hand on his, fingers entwining with the ones outside and so very slowly slipping one of his fingers in beside Killua’s. It was an odd feeling, both of them inside him together. It felt both too close and not close enough at the same time. It was also the hottest thing Killua had ever experienced or imagined experiencing in his whole life.

When Gon put another finger in, the arm Killua was using to hold himself up buckled and he face-planted into the pillow, grateful for it because he couldn’t stop the noises emerging from his mouth. Guttural, animal noises that he would be embarrassed about if he could hold onto a thought. Gon was moving his fingers, stretching him and Killua just felt so _full_. Full of Gon, full of emotions, just _full_.

Then, Gon’s fingers grazed a place inside of him that made Killua choke on a breath and he _keened_ , his whole body jerking away from the too-pleasurable feeling, then pushing back to get more. “What—” he gasped. “What was—?”

“Feels good, no?” Gon said, touching it again and Killua began to tremble.

“D-don’t if you do it—ah! If you do that again I’m going to explode.”

Gon pulled his fingers free and Killua nearly wept at the loss.

Gon leaned down and bit Killua’s butt once, sharply, making him yelp. “I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

Killua held still for about three seconds before moving, reaching deeper with his own finger to try to find that spot, despite his warning to Gon. It was no use, so he put another in and finally found it, crying out when he pushed too hard and the feeling brushed the edge of pain.

“Killua…” he heard Gon whisper. Then he was tugging at Killua’s hand and Killua just _couldn’t_ , he needed _something_ and he didn’t _know_.

“Gon, I need—” he begged.

And then he didn’t anymore because there was slick, slicker than spit, and pressure and _Gods_ Gon was _in him_ and it hurt, but it was perfect too and he wouldn’t have wanted it to stop for all the chocolate in the whole world.

And then Gon bottomed out, _so deep_ , and Killua shook, and Gon’s arms came around him, pulling him up and back, sprawled over Gon’s powerful thighs and somehow he was even _deeper_ now and Killua had never felt anything like this before, not ever and he was fiercely glad for that. Glad that Gon was the only one who could make him like this.

Gon was still, their harsh breathing the only sound in a room that had become stifling from the heat they’d created. Then Gon slid his hands up and Killua was so sensitive now that it made him jerk and they both moaned at the motion. Gon’s fingers found his nipples and began plucking at them at the same time as his hips began a slow, steady rhythm. Killua flailed, there was nowhere for him to grab onto, and he needed _something_ or he was going to fly apart. He finally grabbed onto Gon’s forearms and held on for dear life.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Gon gasped in his ear. “Only you. Only my Killua.”

The slow thrusting was good but not good _enough_ , and Killua whined with frustration. Gon stilled, then he tipped them forward, placing Killua’s hands on the headboard. “Hold on,” he grunted. Then he spread Killua’s legs even wider so he had no leverage at all, and gave one short, sharp, _perfect_ jab of his hips and Killua was _gone_.  That was _it_ , that was the _perfect angle_. After that he couldn’t stop it. His cries, his sobs, his moans, were constant, because the pleasure itself was constant it just kept building on top of itself.

“Killua, can you…?” Gon said and Killua didn’t know what he was talking about, but he would do _anything_ , if he could.

“Wha—?”

“Can you touch yourself?”

Killua laughed breathlessly. “No, I. My arms. If I let go, I’ll—”

Gon grunted. “That’s okay.” Then in a breathless, joyful voice said, “When we’re done I’m going to push you down and lick myself out of you.”

Killua would never know if it was the words or Gon managing to reach around and take hold of him that finally did it, but either way his orgasm was cataclysmic. He might have wailed, he might have made no noise at all, he had no idea because the whole world was ecstasy and he let himself fall into it with no reservation, safe in the certainty that Gon would be there to catch him. Distantly, he felt Gon’s fingers dig into his hips, and a weird hot sensation deep inside, Gon’s long moan echoing in his ears before he passed out.

Killua came to an indefinite number of minutes later, whole body aching pleasurably. Then he whined, because true to Gon’s words he was between his legs, tongue buried as far as it would go. Exhausted as he was, Killua only managed to flail weakly.

“S’dirty,” he slurred, reaching back to try to push Gon’s head away. That and he was _really_ sensitive down there. Gon’s ministrations felt good, but in a nearly unbearable way.

“It’s me and you, so it’s not dirty,” Gon said simply and cheerfully, and went back to work.

Killua shuddered as Gon’s tongue brushed over a particularly sensitive spot and it almost felt like he was coming again, though it was a much softer sensation than his previous experience.

Gon was apparently satisfied with his “clean-up” mission and scooted up to lie face to face with Killua.

They just stared at each other for a while, but surprisingly Killua didn’t feel uncomfortable—maybe a little shy. It was impossible not to feel shy with Gon looking at him so candidly.

“What?” he asked, flushing a little. He was too tired to blush properly.

“I was thinking that I want you to do me in the morning,” Gon said shamelessly.                

Killua kicked him and Gon tumbled from the bed. When his head popped up he was scowling thunderously. “Hey!”

“Don’t start talking about next time when I won’t be walking properly for days!” Killua yelled.

“You don’t have to walk! You can lie down and I’ll ride you!” Gon yelled back.

Killua threw his pillow at him. “How do you say stuff like that and not die?”

Fast as lightning, Gon darted into Killua’s personal space and stole a kiss, sucking all the air out of Killua’s already overtaxed lungs and leaving him heaving for air. “Because Killua is adorable when he’s embarrassed.”

“Don’t kiss me after where your mouth has been,” Killua said weakly.

Gon kissed him again, seemingly out of spite. Then he pulled Killua close and cuddled him like he was the very best teddy bear.

“I love you, Killua. I really love you. More than everything else in the entire world combined.”

Killua didn’t say anything until he felt Gon relax in sleep.

“I love you too, you giant idiot,” he whispered, too soft for even himself to hear.

He felt Gon grin against his neck. “I know.”


End file.
